Do it because you love yourself
I am fit because this is the kind of person I want to become, it is a part of the life I want it for myself.
People are motivated to do things by the lack in different aspects of their lives, so they tend to do some activities to modify something they hate about themselves maybe or their lives, which is understandable kind of!
However, I don’t like word “hate”
How about the statement of “I am doing this because I love myself and I want it to be healthy and strong not because I hate the way I look but because I DO love myself so much ”. Sounds better, isn’t it?!
One day after struggling putting my carry on in the overhead compartment at the airplane, I set on my seat, sweating nervous due to the embarrassment wondering for how long would I be terrifying of taking carry on with me on the plane?!!! When would I stop being at mercy of a gentleman who might offer to help me with my 7kg carry on?! What if that gentleman didn’t show up?!! And it happened to me actually since I mostly travel by myself.
As I mentioned in other posts, I’m a worrier in nature, so I try as much as I can to avoid putting on my shoulders more matters to worry about, luggage has been always my biggest panic whenever I have a flight.
As a result of my wondering, I promised myself that this is going to be the end of my “carry on fear” and once I arrived safely I will take my physical strength seriously!
How did that all start?
It has been a year since I got my first gym membership in May 2016 in the town where I live. It is a ladies’ only gym. I never thought I would find a gym exclusively for ladies, honestly, it wasn’t one of the requirements I was looking for is to be for ladies only, what is more important for me though is the location. But since I found it, I told myself it is even better to start with. Before joining the gym, I spent six months exercising -in the dark -at home where no one is watching or judging me. I followed some of the YouTube videos which helped me to set a workout program that’s suits my strength level and time.
This guy is one of my best, the first improvement I noticed in my body shape is credited to him.
In the past
I have grown up thinking that when people look at me, they are definitely criticizing my look or my behaviour. However, I might not be that important to be even noticed, it could be my mind only who thinks this way. Anyway, It has not been easy for me at all to perform around people. I neither hated group leading positions nor being the main speaker. I hated presentations a lot, I avoided participating at classes even if I knew the answer. Sharing and discussing my knowledge with other members in the group were not something I felt comfortable doing, I hated anything that can make me centre of attention.
With that being said, I was not happy or satisfied with my attitude, because I think people don’t know what knowledge you have until you show them. Extroverts are still preferable, most people still believe that if you were born as an extrovert, you have the potential to be successful. However, there are still some people who see introverts interesting, they like to discover the hidden power of quite people and see what they can provide the world with.
I was suffering from being incapable of expressing my opinion, although I am not thrilled to impress people, what I care about the most is to feel comfortable in my own skin, I want silence to be my choice rather than my weakness.
So, I was under stress all the time, it wasn’t easy for me to leave my comfort zone, at the same time, my comfort zone was like a rope around my neck.
The body image
I think I was like other teenagers who always pick on themselves and focus on the defects.
I have been worried and wanted to be thinner at any cost. I didn’t care about how pale I would look like or about my health. What I was considering instead is the number on the scale which should not exceed 53 kg (I’m 165 cm)!!
It was easy for me to keep saying “LOVE YOURSELF” but it was hard to believe in it and live accordingly.
One of the reasons that affected how I perceived myself was how I was labelled and described as a child and later a teenager. I wasn’t fat, I was totally normal but among others of my relatives who are at my age, I was the biggest and the tallest.
I remember that my aunt used to throw a party at the end of the school year. In that day, my cousins and I were supposed to were alike as we used to. I remember how it was problematic for my mom to find my size. If all of the girls would wear size 10 year-old, I had to jump into 14-16 year- old which some designs were not available in junior sizes.
Therefore, I had to be different than the rest!
I interpreted being “different” than the rest negatively, that effected my self- esteem and how I look at my body. Yet, instead of feeling proud for being the tallest, I felt ashamed!!
So basically this was me before gyming !
I decided to stand up and vanquish the old mind-set that has been always hindered me from enjoying everything I have. I realized that what was keeping me from living the life I want is my thoughts “as usual”. I apprehended the importance of adopting positive thoughts so I can achieve everything I dreamed of.
I hit the gym,
GO GIRL it is the time to nock yourself out at the gym!
I got my membership, I was very serious from day one up to now. Gym time is a sacred time, people usually prefer having a gym partner even fitness experts recommend having gym partner but for me it wasn’t the case!
The reason why is because I didn’t find that committed person who would respect the gym time (Yup I meant respect). Who would encourage and challenge me to do my best.
So, commitment is an important quality that must be in the gym partner which I haven’t found so far.
After a year in the gym and 6 months at home, I can proudly say that I’m happier, confident enough to put myself at any challenge without being afraid of failing because I already proved it to myself. I started from 1kg, it was like 10kg back then, I could barely continue 20 minutes working out, I used to have short breath. And now, my daily workout last up to 90 minutes, I can carry 7kg dumbbells each hand and do other exercises easily.
From where I came, it is always said that girls should not carry heavy stuff because it will affect their health, (I want to let you know that there is no scientific studies about that “grandma tales :)”) Hilarious 😀
So I was thinking that athletics must have done some plastic sugary to have that body or they maybe extraordinary phenomena!!. But from my experience, I can say that any lady can get her strength to higher level, it is possible.
Physically, I’m more energetic, fit, and strong. I noticed that I don’t feel tired quickly, I can carry heavy stuff easier than before ( No more carry on fear yay) J. I am actually enjoying the burning sensation after each workout, and the day I don’t feel any pain in my muscles does not count.
One day I had to attend a meeting for PhD students, I noticed how I was setting there confidently with straight back, I introduced myself comfortably and my heart was beating normally, no panic J. I left that meeting very happy with a big smile, it was a victory for me.
This when I started to believe in the magic of workout, I was doubting the benefit of workout for ones’ mental health but now I can swear by it.
I am ready for any challenges
I am the source of my motivation, I am not in an urgent need to someone to motivate me because I DO love myself and I will do whatever it takes to see her happy
Every independent lady should be strong in all stages
It is crucial that we ladies
Make positivity our choice
All of the above will make us irresistible independent happy ladies
Welcome to my world I hope you enjoy your stay
Remember! If you wanna do it, do it now