Diary, Inspiration, Life style, self development, Uncategorized, writing

STOPT Being Your Own Enemy

 

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you!

African Proverb

Being your own friend or your own enemy are two sides of the same coin.

Being your own friends demands loving yourself unconditionally, making sacred vows that you will love yourself for better and worse, for sickness and health, you promise to be faithful to yourself, and accept every part of your personality. Also, to be convinced that yourself is neither completely bad nor extremely awesome, you are a human being who has bits and pieces from this and that.

Imagine your close friend who you care about, forgiveness is what you usually transact with that friend that you don’t want to let go, you accept your friend’s apology and find him/her excuses for the misbehaviours, you try not to be finicky. You would do everything you could do to keep this relationship forever, you would be a cheerleader, the number one supporter and see the potential within your friend.

So, before you try with anybody else, make sure you start to establish a strong relationship with your inner self first. Know yourself more, understand your mood and get filmier with your thoughts and your feelings.

 

So, what can self-criticism do to you?!

Self- criticism can destroy you or can build a brand-new person, it depends on how you structure it and deliver it. Honest comments you make on yourself are important for self- development, this is what usually best friends would do to you. Best friend aspires you to be better, he/she always has faith in you that next time you will do things in better ways, he/she would never give up on you. So, the comments he/she might make has no intuition to make you feel ashamed or guilty.

Most of us at certain age when we specifically were at school got bullied in somehow. Bullying is finding defects and emphasise them, this is what usually children do to each other as a way of enjoyment. Not only at school, getting intimidated could be at work or even among siblings. Ironically, a person can also bully him/ her self even worse and more than others can do to him/ her.

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Here is some of the behaviours you (including me) might do unintentionally which is described as being your own enemy

A reminder to you and myself to avoid the following in order to strengthen our relationship with ourselves

 

  • Start to criticize yourself first before any other would do: here you need to predict every single negative comment that may come down the road, you are assuming by doing this that you are improving yourself so you would not be a target for criticisms. But you forget that by doing this you are focusing on your defects and neglecting the good things in your personality. At the end, you would realize that nothing positive in your personality worth emphasising.

Be honest with yourself and realistic, no one is perfect and we don’t have to be perfect. Accept your weaknesses before your strengths and work on that, because you want to be better not because you are thrilled to get approval from anyone. You have your own mind.

  • Trusting other’s opinion or valuing other’s opinions over yours: Trust your taste, trust your gut. Believe that we as human don’t have to be the same. We have different opinions, perceptions, we like different things. It is normal that we either agree on something or disagree. So, valuing other’s opinion is being your own enemy, be with yourself, don’t stand against yourself. Even if you would be the only one who holds different opinion, it is okay, justify and defend your opinion and accept being mistaken. You lose the argument!!, SO WHAT!! It’s okay.

Be comfortable in your own skin. You do what you do and wear what you wear because you like it not because you want to be liked. Your taste doesn’t have to match others’ taste.

  • Putting other’s happiness and comfort over yours: I am not asking you to be selfish or self-centred, but if you could be just a little, why not 🙂 , what I would rather suggest is to speak up, raise your objection to the things that you don’t feel you like.
  • Demanding of yourself higher then you could do: Set realistic expectations to avoid self-criticism. Yes, you should dream big and aim bigger but set a realistic plan based on your abilities, skills, and time to achieve your goals and to avoid self-criticism later.
  • Neglecting what you have and not enjoying them: don’t feel bad because of the things that out of your reach. You are good and fine as you are. God provides you with all tools that you can utilize to enjoy as much as others can do. Don’t be so harsh to yourself that you compare yourself or what you own to others.
  • Refusing who you are or where you are standing is a form of enemying yourself: It is good that you better and improve yourself. Good you get busy enhance the quality of your life but acknowledge and admit your victories celebrate them and look at where you came from. You must have walked long distance to get where you are right now. It is imperative that you stop and see all the challenges and barriers you overcome and left behind your back to appreciate your new you, and love and respect yourself. you should not be busy improving, learning, and enhancing your personality if you are not going to stop from time to time to celebrate your victories and give yourself credit for that.
  • Looking for external motivation and support and never act until you find that external power who would empower you to do your best. If you believe in that you should stop. Get the support from yourself. Be your own partner to go to the gym, be your own audience while you are presenting your ideas, be your own life coach. Imagine the time you waste waiting for that external motivator, and the chances you lost while waiting. Life doesn’t wait and opportunities are seldomly repeated. Get it now or lose it forever, opportunities are seized.

Bottom line

 

Watch how to treat yourself and make sure that you are not being your own enemy. Be a caretaker. And promise to stand by yourself whatever happen.

 

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Welcome to my world

&

Remember!  if you wanna do it, do it now

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