It was the time to do new adventure and indulge myself,
“ it is time for your soul to be treated gently”.
I found myself singing up in a Buddhist retreat!
I have zero idea about where I was taking myself to or what this retreat about.
I have been to Buddha centre two times by the time I booked my place in that retreat.
Friday 28th – Sunday 30th September
In Sep. 27, the day before the traveling day, I thought it would be better if I at least google the location to figure out how I can find my way there. I was very relaxed and excited the night before, I wasn’t worried as I usually be before any new experience.
I left my home around 2:00 pm, the destination was Stowmarket, not far from Colchester only half an hour by train. By 3:00 pm I was in the Stowmarket station.
I was looking for a taxi but I have been informed that there was no taxi until 4:00 pm so I had to wait at the station. It was a little chilli but the experience was worth waiting for J!
The taxi’s driver arrived at 4:00 P.M., she was a nice lady, we chatted a little about what brought me here and the retreat. She is familiar with the retreat, she even told me a funny story about passengers she took before to the retreat.
She told me that when the two men left the retreat the first thing they asked for is to be taken to the best restaurant that serves meat J
She told me they were almost starving. We chatted a little about food and some diet restrictions such as vegan.
The place is half an hour from the station, when we get there the driver told me that there is no signal in this area!!
It was a little late to tell me this, I got panic because I didn’t text my mom to tell her that i arrived and it’s the time to turn off my phone.
Luckily, I could manage to text her and my best friend but I wasn’t sure if my massage went through or not because I didn’t wait for their reply.
Anyway, I found way to calm myself and forget about it!
Vajrasana Retreat Centre
My phone is already off since I arrived, they didn’t force us to do so, but I wanted to be fully FREE!
The place is very calming and peaceful. Very quiet, the air is very fresh and clean. No pollution caused by cars, no sounds other than the sounds of nature. Birds chatting and winds teasing the tress.
I had a chance to meet a nice lady who welcomed me.
I told her: “ I am sorry, I don’t have any confirmation but I can show you the email I got when I booked my place”.
She replied before I even finish my sentence; “Don’t worry, Jwe don’t require any confirmation”.
She then checked my name in the list to see which room I will occupy.
She then gave me a pillow case, duvet cover, and bed sheet. I was there around 4:00 P.M. which is earlier than the program’s schedule.
She took me to my room. The building is not too fancy or luxury but very clean. The bed rooms have basic furniture; three beds, shelves above each bed with personal light, and a drawer beneath each bed to store our luggage.
No carpet J
“You are the first arrival, Jso it is totally your choice, pick where you want to sleep, make yourself comfortable and I will see you later at the lounge ” She told me
I joined them at the lounge after I get settled. They are a very nice group of people, relaxed and understanding. They asked me which part of UK I came from, I also told them that this is my first experience.
When the other comers arrived, we introduced ourselves, then I knew that I was the newest among the group.
Then we were given instructions by one of the hosts, the most interesting bit of the instructions “I guess” was the silence
The program was very intense, On Saturday, we started at 6:30 A.M. when one of the group ring the bell around the place. We have 30 minutes to get ready.
There is a silent period which starts from 9 pm to 9 am, during this period we should not chat to each other. The rule is to respect everyone’s personal space by not interrupt them while they are at the silent period.
The first night, my roommate came to the room silently, she neither was doing eye contact with me nor smiling which kind of made me feel uncomfortable, and I describe this as a rudeness!
My self-esteem got irritated and I felt like I wasn’t welcomed in this place. But next day she came when we were having breakfast and explained the rules to me Jshe introduced herself and we had a nice chat
she was nicer than I thought about her, her name is Janite
We then start the daily program at 7:00 A.M. with a group meditation for two hours. I never thought I can do it. To be honest I wasn’t relaxed all the time, there was I time when I could not stop the thoughts, this is what they call it “monkey mind”; I was planning, traveling back to the past … etc. However, in general I can give myself 8/10 which is impressive!!
I was able 8% of the time to be in the now and focusing on me and my body.
In the silence period
We were supposed to meditate, reflect, and be within ourselves. I like this actually because for the first time I was within myself, discovering my inner and true self. No obligations, no responsibilities, just me and ONLY me.
It was a great experience, I am so glad and proud of myself that I made it.
I was in a journey within myself
I learnt a lot about myself, I saw myself as if I have never seen me before. I discovered areas in my personality that I either didn’t know about or I was dismissing them all the time.
I threw myself out of no where, I challenged myself to live with strangers, I share meals with them, I clean, and help with meals preparation, I was a member of a big family. We were all different; different background, different experience, different colour but we all share the same desire which is to be happy and to see the life as it is. We all are looking to enjoy and to live the life that we are given. We are trying to accept the life with all of its difficulties, sufferings.
During the meditation, I escaped the outside world, I was exploring my inner self, I was focusing on me, yup I chose to be selfish, and with every exhale I breathed out all fears, anger, blame, regret and worries.
I was present, wholly present, I neither was in the future nor the past, I was in the now.
I saw the world around me as i have never seen it before.
I saw the stars in the sky !!!!’ I’m not exaggerating when I say that I saw them for the first time since age 8 or maybe 10!! they looked so bright and beautiful, I almost forgot that the sky has stars and a beautiful moon, I noticed how shiny they are and how dark they sky is in the night.
I left the retreat with a determination that I will never be the old me, I want to see life clearly. And now, I still walk in the same streets, doing the same things, but wearing new lenses, clearer then the one I used to wear.
With this lenses, I feel as if I have never walked in this street before and never done these things before. I started to enjoy everything.
I am in love!! YaaaY J
I AM IN LOVE WITH MYLIFE
And i see everything around me as someone who is in love!
Welcome to my world
Remember! If you wanna do it, do it now!